When the Watcher Stops Watching

 While reading Isaiah 28 the other day something profound caught my attention.

In this chapter, God is speaking to leaders—people who were supposed to be watching, guiding, protecting, and helping others. But instead, they had become consumed with themselves. They were overindulging in wine, chasing their own pleasures, and becoming so spiritually lost their lens became foggy.

And God called them out.

Not because He wanted to destroy them, but because he was reminding them who they are.

A watchman has a job.

A watchman stays awake.

A watchman pays attention.

A watchman notices danger before everyone else does.

A watchman doesn’t get so distracted by his own desires that he forgets the people he’s responsible for protecting.

And then I had to ask myself:

What happens when the watcher stops watching?

I know the answer because I lived it.

For years, I was a mom who was supposed to be watching over her children, their needs/emotions, and her home, but struggled with daily drinking.

I loved my kids. I wanted to be a good mom. I wanted to protect them. But there was a part of me that had become consumed with something I wanted more than I wanted to admit.

I was watching over everyone else while slowly losing sight of myself.

And God could have crushed me with conviction.

Instead, He kept speaking.

Again.

And again.

And again.

It reminds me of the way Isaiah describes God teaching His people—almost as though He is teaching children. A little here. A little there. Repeatedly correcting, patiently instructing, gently bringing them back.

God’s discipline wasn’t about shaming me.

It was about making me useful again.

He had given me people to watch over, and while I thought I was doing a good job, I couldn't effectively watch over them while I denied what was happening inside of me.

Eventually, God began showing me things I didn’t want to see.

My drinking wasn’t just something I did.

It was affecting the woman, wife, and mother I was becoming.

And sometimes God’s gentlest discipline is simply this:

He lets us see ourselves clearly.

Isaiah 56 brings this picture even closer.

God describes Israel’s leaders as blind watchmen—dogs that cannot bark, lying around dreaming and sleeping when they should be alert.

And then He says:

"They are dogs with mighty appetites; they never have enough. They are shepherds who lack understanding; they all turn to their own way, they seek their own gain. 'Come,' each one cries, 'let me get wine! Let us drink our fill of beer! And tomorrow will be like today, or even far better.'" -Isaiah 56:11-12 NIV

That last part is heartbreaking.

“Tomorrow will be like today.”

Isn’t that what addiction whispers?

Tomorrow I’ll do better.

Tomorrow I’ll stop.

Tomorrow I’ll get myself together.

But tomorrow keeps becoming today.

And eventually, the thing we thought we had control over begins controlling us.

The leaders in Isaiah were supposed to be watching the city, but they were asleep. They were supposed to be shepherding people, but they were feeding their own desires.

And I think there is a warning here for all of us:

We cannot be effective watchmen when we are constantly indulging the very things God is asking us to surrender.

Maybe your struggle isn’t alcohol.

Maybe it’s approval.

Maybe it’s anger.

Maybe it’s control.

Maybe it’s work.

Maybe it’s money.

Maybe it’s lust.

Maybe it’s comfort.

Maybe it’s constantly needing to be entertained or distracted.

Whatever it is, the question is the same:

Has something I am seeking pleasure in caused me to stop watching?

Have I stopped watching my heart?

Have I stopped watching my family?

Have I stopped watching what God has entrusted to me?

Have I become so focused on satisfying myself that I can no longer recognize what is happening around me?

For me, God didn’t expose my drinking because He hated me.

He exposed it because He loved me too much to leave me there.

His correction wasn’t rejection.

It was rescue.

And perhaps that’s what some of us need to hear today.

If God is putting His finger on something in your life, don’t automatically assume He is shaming you.

Maybe He’s calling you back to your post.

Maybe He’s waking up the watchman.

Maybe He’s saying:

Wake up, kid.

Look again.

Pay attention.

There are people I have entrusted to you.

And there is a life I am trying to restore in you.

God’s discipline can be uncomfortable, but His goal isn’t to humiliate us.

He corrects what He intends to restore.

The God who patiently corrected me through my drinking journey didn’t throw me away when I became a poor watchman.

He woke me up.

And little by little, He taught me how to watch again.