When I was a kid I always compared the work I did to the “perfect” work of art on the box. I could never figure out why mine (no matter how hard I tried) was never as perfect as the one shown. All my life I’ve compared. I compared my body, my mind, my decisions, and my goals to other people that I “looked up” to, or that I perceived as better than me. I was (still am, I’m working on this 🫣) an overachiever and perfectionist. I tend to hold onto my work, my writings, my thoughts all because I thought they fell short, expecting them to be perfect before releasing them.
Here I am three years into sobriety and just now gaining stability and confidence. Recognizing my faults and failures and being ok with them because there is nothing to compare them to!! We all have different strengths and weaknesses. What I can do another can’t, and what another can do I can’t AND THATS OK!! I don’t have to be good at everything but if I try and fail, I GET to learn. This awareness took three years to accept and is still a work in progress.
This is my first wooble 🙌🏼 he’s a little wonky but that’s ok. The first day was very frustrating, it just didn’t look right, didn’t feel right, uncomfortable and nothing flowed (kinda like when you become aware of the toxicity of alcohol). I was so upset with the outcome that I unraveled all I did and ended back at the beginning (like all the times i attempted moderation and had day ones). But during this process I was learning, I knew what to do differently next time, I was learning my pattern (early sobriety ❤️). Then it was complete, not perfect but whole (living in recovery ❤️🩹).
I did the whole “comparing” to the box but I told myself I did the best I could and this was just my first time, I will continue to keep learning even if I make mistakes along the way.
So remind yourself no matter where you are on your journey that you are doing the best you can. Don’t compare your journey. Release the expectations you have in your head. Don’t lose sight of the outcome because even though it might not look exactly how you want, you will still be made made whole again ❤️🙏🏼